I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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