part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
