Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
