She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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