The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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