I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
