My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
