TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
