epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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