I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
