break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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