Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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