Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
