oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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