I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
