My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
