Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
