I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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