Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
