he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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