Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
