We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
