she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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