Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
