You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
