Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
