I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
well you can't waste a boner
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
