She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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