he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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