There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
