lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
