You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
