I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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