No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
