Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
