You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
