Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
