He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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