Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
