im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Bring me that man meat
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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