She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
