At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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