...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
In other news, I just burned my penis
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
