Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
