three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
