We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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