my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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