I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
