Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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