Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
