I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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