The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Still dying that you shit outside
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
